A Little Surprise

Every now and again I get a glimpse of what my children may become in the future.. I have a vivacious 12 year old that loves to organize and decorate. She found this print in the Abeka Book Magazine, cut it out, and framed it beautifully in a frame she found out in the garage. I could almost imagine her future, given to her by our loving God as promised in Jeremiah 29:11. This little girl has been through so much and she still finds beauty all around her.. She embraces homeschool, and still enjoys our time together...well, most of the time. ;) I'm so thankful I get to be her mom, God has blessed me richly! She adds so much beauty to our lives, and now she has added beauty to our home as well.


Proudly, now displayed on our bookshelf along with our other projects and things to explore..

Growing Pains

Growing pains are the worst...I was reminded of this at 2 AM last night as a sobbing little girl appeared beside my bed with that tear-filled pitch that breaks the heart "Mama?" I scooped her up into my bed and held her close.
As a grown-up I was experiencing my own growing pains...the ones in the heart. You know the ones that leave you alone in the a house full of people with a soaked pillow as you release silent screams to a God you can only hope hears you. This was where I was only hours before, growing and in pain. It is the pain that makes you grow as you are forced to endure it; helpless as it takes you under in waves of quiet sobs.

I rubbed her aching joints, applying Arnica Salve and Magnesium Cream till her sobs turned to whimpers then to the silent sounds of a sleeping child. I held her close so she could sleep; easing her joints when she would stir in her restless sleep till the morning sun flooded our bedroom and her pain was gone.
In those dark, quiet hours I wondered if it was the same with my Heavenly Father? Was He there? Did He comfort my soul even if I felt nothing in the silence of the night? Was His silence what was forcing me to grow? Was the Balm in Gilead applied even as the pain wrecked my weary soul leavng only exhaustion in the morning?

In the light of day, I am still hurting; my heart and mind somewhat numb from the ache. I smile at those around me as I curse the pain inside, while at the same time I am thankful for it. I wait for the pain to end so I can come out the other end little taller, stronger.

I embrace the pain as it is the only way to grow....even if it is the worst.

When Mommy Ministers in Walmart....

    When mommy ministers in Walmart...

it's quiet, subtle, and for us kids..pretty fun! 

   Mom must love to shop! She goes down the rows trying to keep our little hands on the buggies (shopping carts) as she tries to keep her "cool" whatever that is??  We all talk, and push, and poke, and play! ~We are kids after all!

 Most of the time she says "we are going to run in, and run out!" We never do. 

   This was how our shopping trip was going when in the middle of the store a lady came up, well, almost bumped into us! She started to make small talk...then she asked my mom where she went to church? My mom told her and then she went on and on about church stuff...well, it seemed like it to me! 

    The Lady was talking about how she used to go to church, and how she was hurt by someone in a church..she started crying...mom said we could play quietly a little bit away on the bench so she could see us. I wonder if she didn't want me to hear?? She talked for a long time, my mom nodded, listening, all while watching us. I was watching her too.  We took full advantage! We pretended to be in a car, jumped around, ran around, it was AWESOME! 

Then I saw it~ the look!

   We walked back to the buggie just about in time for my mom to offer to pray with her, quiet prayer, God can hear really well you know? After praying, the lady dried her tears, talking about how she had never told anyone before the things she had told my mom. 

Mom of course asked her to come to church, and reminded her of how much God loved her... How much he wanted her to come home.. The lady smiled and said "I know."

As we were leaving I asked my mom about what had happened. She smiled as she said "God must have sent us to the store for a reason other than toilet paper."

I guess God is at Walmart too. 

PC: Jaye Martin Online 

Getting Divorced Hurts....

I am now learning just how much divorce hurts; it especially hurts the children!

 Yeah even when your children are adults; married adults...with children of their own. I found out today that my dad's divorce is final. I heard the pain and regret in his voice, and there was nothing I could do about it. 

I am heartbroken. I love my dad so much and I want him to be happy. I respect him as my dad and I always will... I have always been a daddy's girl. I have learned so much from my dad, and now it seems, I am learning again...a hard lesson~ I'm learning from his pain.

My parents were married for 27 years when my mom passed away.. I was taught that marriage was sacred; something to be protected. I learned "Better or for Worse" from watching them struggle. I learned "Sickness and in Health" from seeing the sweet loving care he took as her health failed. Lastly, I learned "Till Death Do We Part" as he sat by her bed as she took her last journey. I am so thankful, they taught me well.. They are lessons I hold so dear... They are the truths I treasure in my married life.. 

Then the day I never thought would come some many years later; daddy met the wonderful lady that would be my step mom. I was already married and about to become a mom! I guess I wanted a mom, too, someone to talk about the girls with...a friend. My dad was so happy...I was so was relieved with the comfort that he would no longer be alone in his old age. Once again we were reminded of how magical love is!!!

Marriage is Forever. 

Our family grew... 

My new mom and I grew so close.....

Fast-forward and my phone rings...it is over.
My world is shaken! All of my beliefs, my life lessons are gone. All of the things I learned as a child were fantasy and lies! This can honestly happen to anyone?!? Could this happen me? I want to scream, yet  ~I sit. silent, listen as my once shaken world now begins to crumble. 

 I am sitting on the floor of my daughter's room tears running down my face.. I felt like that little girl about to lose her mom, again. Who will I call when I need someone to pray for me the way only a mama can pray? I will miss her so much! 

 I remember all of our talks...I could talk to her about anything! She taught me to be a better mother. She always made me feel like I could do anything...and most of all she always encouraged, and never condemned. She was there...she was there for me.

So yeah, I guess I might be acting like a kid...more than that I have 3 kids! How do I explain this to my little girls?!? They love their Memaw so much!! Not to mention she pretty much prayed them here single handed! (I say in jest, so many people prayed for us through our adoption. :)  ) They will be so sad when he comes out to visit..alone. Oh, how she loves her grandbabies...they are going to miss her so much! 

How do I respect my dad and still teach my children to respect the sanctity of marriage?? I am so angry. How do I explain everything when I honestly don't even understand? I wish I had someone to ask..I wish I had my mom. 

I will be fine with time, but for now I am going to hold my daughter's bear, cry, and pray that my kids will never feel this way.... 

CAMPING!!!!

He had a wonderful mini vacation... we went camping for the first time!!! The girls had a blast!!! We all did!!
We went up to a ranch in the hills near the Oregon border...it was a nice LONG drive out of town.

It was beautiful! We picked a nice little spot near a creek and the sound of the bubbling water was enough to completely de-stress us all after the long car ride.

I had prayed before the trip that God would restore my weary heart as well as my stress & tired body..
I don't like to complain, but sometimes this mama just needs a break! So when we first arrived the girls went over to their grandparent's trailer, hubby started setting up the tent & other manly things, and I grabbed my Bible and settled in my reclining chair over near the water. It was such a blessed time! I could relax & rest...I even fell asleep for about on hour! God had heard my prayer!

My kids had a blast just being kids!!! Lot's of open space & sunshine!

They even tried fishing....

 The best part was of course the horses!!!

Of course thanks so this man...we never went hungry!

There were also laughs & googles, smores, bon-fires, swimming, hay rides, playing by the lake, fun times with family, making new friends, and so much more!!

I was one relaxed and in this picture~freezing mama!

Eureka Apex 2 XT - Tent - Gold (Google Affiliate Ad)

My Mother's Day Letter...

It is Mother's Day my darlings..
I am filled so many emotions. I was reminded by a friend that it is my first real Mother's Day since last year we weren't finalized... Well, I'm so so sure about that but I am sure that I love each of you so much! You are each special in your own way! I am so proud to all you and beam just a bit every time you call me mom...

I know this weekend isn't so easy for you, my big girl. I know at times like this you think of your birth-mom and I am sure she thinks of you too. You have such a big, forgiving heart and at times I know it is so easily broken when you think of the past. I am sorry for the times I forget your pain shows in your behavior...I feel so bad when I forget too late. I will always be here for you... My ears are always open...my heart and arms are too. I love you so much!

My bubbly girl, what can I say...my heart still melts when you vocalize "mom!"  Honestly though, to see you sign it, and the way you sign it to everyone, so everyone knows that I am your mom does the same.. You have taught me more about deaf culture than any college class... You have made me stronger. You have made me a fighter simply because you are worth fighting for...YOU, your happiness in life, your education, and your rights! I am humbled in being your mom,  but I am so thankful! I love you so much!

I love you so much, my baby girl. You are such a little sweetie...my reminder to cuddle & to slow down and take it all in...  You really scared mommy this year...holding you in my arms at the hospital and hearing everything the Dr. had to say...I have never prayed so hard in my life! It still bring tears to my eyes...you were so sick...I was so scared... BUT God healed you. You are my gift and God gave you back to me once again..I am so thankful!  So now more than ever~ I treasure every lullaby....I love when you sing them with me.  I am reminded to put down the laundry basket to count the piggies~your cutie toes! I love you so much!

Babe, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for going through all of the work & stress it took to make me a mom. Thank you for not only sharing the burden of adoption, but leading in it!  Thank you for all of the times you hold me while I cry after a "you are not my real mom" moments. Thank you for all of the phone calls at work when I am overwhelmed... Thank you for being patient with me...for loving me...for strengthening me...most of all for praying for me. You are my  rock. I love you so much.

Dedicating Our Lives..Giving Gifts Back To The Giver

Today was a day that we have dreamed of for so long... 

The day we would dedicate our children.

As I sat on the pew waiting for our children's names to be called a song from our wedding  floated through my mind: The Prayer. 

I thought of all of the hopes and dreams that I have for our girls...most of all I want them to know God. I see how much their daddy loves them and wants to guide and protect them~ how much more does their Heavenly Father?!? 

~We placed our children before the Lord and asked Him to bless them and to keep them... 

~We dedicated ourselves as their parents to bring them up in the ways of the Lord to the best of our abilities...

 ~We gave our gifts back into the loving arms of the One that gave them to us...

Knowing that all good gifts come from Him...

  ~We thanked Him with our whole hearts...full of love.

For this child I prayed; and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him.

I Samuel 1:27

I'm Watching..

The words "I watch you, mommy" were heard in the car on the way to church the other Sunday morning.. "Oh really?" was my reply to my beautiful 6 year-old in the backseat.
"Yes, you rubbed daddy's arm, then you checked your teeth, put on lotion, and then put on some chapstick.. I saw you. You look so pretty, mommy."
I thanked her and sat for a minute thinking to myself what else has she seen?? Maybe times when I was grumpy, selfish?? I hope not.

Another reminder was the other day, my 2 year-old and I were in the car, and someone cut me off so I had so swerve and slam on the brakes!!! She yelled out "THERE ARE BABIES IN THIS CAR, SIR!!!!"
It made me glad that I don't use profanity and was also a nice little reminder to calm my temper because my children are watching...

I want my children to grow up happy and healthy. I want them to think that their mother did her best, and okay in full honesty maybe be want to be a little like her.. :) I want them to make good lifestyle choices, and eat healthy food. That is a big reason I am trying to get healthy myself with healthy eating and exercise.

 I have to say that most of all I want my girls to see Jesus. I want them to see that there is happy and joyful life in living for God, and peace in a relationship with our Heavenly Father. I want them to know that He loves them...
I want them to see that...in ME.

When the Healing Doesn't Come....

I don't own this song. I just love it.

For printed lyrics- go full screen. 

This song came on the radio on our way home this afternoon...
I listened to it over the happy sounds ofmy girls giggling while showing each other pictures from their books. I thought back to all of that time I spent praying that God would heal me, but the healing never came...
The healing just didn't come...

I couldn't bring life into the world, and I was lifeless in my soul. I had faith for the eternal, but desolate in my mortality. I felt alone~ few will ever struggle with this and only those that have ever understand. I was hopeless. It affected everything around me. I even pushed friends and loved ones away.
Life fell apart... 

The years that we struggled with trying to have a baby were some of the darkest days I have ever endured... Even as I write this I have a light fluttering in my heart of shame and sadness. The pain of each loss mixed with the hope of one day seeing our babies that I never held on earth.
Dreams remained undone...

As I said the healing never came. Instead, another healing came with a phone call and a choice. You see a healing did come after some time; it just wasn't mine. God used me, my husband, and our pain to heal three little girls that were hurting and lost in the foster-care system. Believe me, I am in no way anything special, but I have arms that can hold, ears that can listen, and hands that can sign...those simple things~ God uses to help my girls heal.
He is good~ forever Faithful One, even when the healing doesn't come...

So, no, God didn't heal me; not like I thought He would....
He instead did the miraculous~
He changed~ He changed me. He changed my heart. He changed my mind.
He simply took my pain away when I first heard that simple, yet miraculous word~ "Mommy."

Another Year On The Journey...

Happy New Year!!! 

Yep, it is a new year...let's have a toast! 

 Our New Year's Eve Toast~ Apple Juice!!!

A year of hope and promise... 

As many of you I made a few goals. I want to get healthier!!! Healthier in my heart, my mind, and of course my body. 

So here are a few...

1.  Spend More Time With My Heavenly Father.

 I grew up right~ saying my bedtime prayers every night!

Sadly I confess that in some ways...I haven't grown up much. I love talking to God during the day the same way I would call up my daddy(yep, in my 30's and it's still daddy) and tell him about my day, stresses, and the kids...He is always there for me. :) 

2.  Learn To Treasure My Health.

 I have so much weight to lose and a lifetime of eating issues.  I also need the energy to workout, the time, and the determination. It is so easy to get overwhelmed and give up the way I have so many times. This time the stakes are so much higher...I have three little girls watching. 

3.  Nourish My Marriage. 

 I am so in love with amazing man!!!! I want to show and not just feel him a little more respect. It is so easy to get so busy and exhausted trying to be a good mom...forgetting to also be a good wife. He deserves so much... He is the love of my life!

4. Enjoy My Daughters' Childhood.
I get so busy with three different types of therapy, homework, school, potty training, and everything else that comes with being a mom that sometimes forget to have fun...  I want to paint, draw, play, and create! I want to build memories.. Giggle... Play...

5. Blog More. 

 I am going to try to blog at least once a week! Yep, I said try! ;) 

We Remember Along The Journey...

I remember 9-11 as a day my world got a lot bigger and less safe... I lived a lot of my life in a bubble. I was very sheltered and happy growing up. My mom was a home maker and was sick a lot so I took on her work as well as taking care of her for much of my young life and this was just the way it was...in my small happy bubble with my family, work, and my dog.

So when it was time to go off to college I saw this as MY TIME! Even though I attended a Christian college, and wanted to live a life in service to others I was having the time of my life!!! There was no one to take care of, but myself and I loved it!!!!! I was young & free and honestly still lived in a very small world.

Then the day I will never forget came...9-11.

I was sitting in class as a senior in college daydreaming when one of the students came in with the news and we were told to assemble in the gym for a time of prayer and instructions.
 I knew so little about the World Trade Center...honestly I don't even think I knew it was in New York. I just knew people were hurt and that I should offer prayers for the families...

I remember the looks of fear on the faces of the instructors...

It wasn't till I got to work and saw on the monitor what the rest of the world had seen....what the radio was going on and on about. I saw that for once in my life how big the world really was and how at any moment everything could be taken away. At that moment I knew fear...anger for my country. I knew pride in my fellow Americans. My world had grown...and I had grown in it.

      We remember.      We hope.      We pray. 

A Journey In Cook Once Meals~

So we have been a family of 5 for a little over 2 months and I am slowly moving from "survival Mode" to working on getting my home back in order..
 I have heard it said that the heart of the home is the kitchen and I truly believe that.. it is where we eat, talk about our day, play board games, but most importantly where we have family devotions after dinner with my singing & daddy reading from the Bible. 


      The kitchen also tells all of my girl's senses that they are home. My girls love to run by and get a big sniff of whatever I am cooking. Just tonight my oldest hugged my at the stove and told me that I cook because I love her...so true. 

So needing to get back to really cooking for them lead me to cook ahead meals. Cooking ahead is not a new idea by any means..I have no idea who did first so I can't give honor where it is due. Also, I am not a recipe person so you may want to look those up. Basically this is just making the meats & things and putting it all together at dinner time. Enjoy!

I just add fruit & milk~ Here are the meals:

BBQ Chicken

Mashed Potatoes

Carrots

London Broil Roast

Baked Potatoes 

Green Beans

Fajitas

Corn

Refried Beans

Chili

Corn bread or Chips

Celery

BBQ Sandwiches

Raw Veggies

Fruit Snacks (because it is Friday!!!)

So this is what I did...

1.   Tossed a bunch of boneless Chicken (I know it is better to prep your own, but I that is just too much right now) & into the crock-pot with some cleaned end pieces of celery, onion, & carrots(as well as some sticks to serve on day 1) & some S&P & Tony's seasoning then filled it half way with water.
Cooked on low till tender and almost ready to fall apart.
     The the celery & carrots were chopped and put in clear containers, & some in baggies for snacks. Half of the onion was diced, and the other half chopped long(with 2 bell peppers of the fajitas) for the other recipes.
When fully cooked & cooled, remove the meat and strain the broth. I like to pop this in the freezer to make a nice quick soup stock when someone gets the sickies...
Set aside chicken for fajitas for on day 3 you will chop some of the chicken and add it to your peppers & onions about half way to warm it through..
The last day I pull the left over chicken apart with 2 forks add more sauce and serve on buns.

2.   I Start some Pinto Beans in my large pot...added some of the diced onion for flavor. Let them simmer most of the day till tender...honestly don't stress about them they pretty much cook themselves just make sure they have water.
I take about a 1/4 of the beans out and make refried beans.
To the rest of the beans I make chili by tossing in seasonings & cans of tomatoes and add any left over corn, peppers, & onion from the night before & the chopped beef from 2 nights before>>see below.


3.   London Broil cooked the night of and sliced at the table, take the other half back to the kitchen and dice it up for the chili.
Dice up the other half for the chili you can also slice some for fajitas as well.

4.  Bake some potatoes. Have them baked one night & smash them with milk & butter for the other.

There are other things I could do if I had more leftovers...shredded chicken from fajitas could make chicken salad sandwiches, or add an Asian sauce and put in lettuce for wraps for lunch. Put extra diced beef with rice & creamed soup for Beef Tips & Rice. Oh, and my fave~leftover chili makes great Frito boats!!! There are so many ideas and this is just to get you started...Enjoy! Oh, and please feel free to post your ideas!!!

Our First Night As A Family & First Sickness...

So we had noticed our middle daughter had a little sniffle when we took her over to the second foster-family home so we called and found out what type of medicine he could have and picked some up on our way to the my friend's house.

The medicine seemed to help, but around 2 am I woke in a bit of a panic...she was burning up! I wasn't sure of the temp, but I knew it was high!  I woke James up and told him that we HAD to pray! My ever-calm hubby gently placed his hand over her head and prayed for our little girl as I sat there silently pleading that God would heal and protect her... She almost immediately started cooling down!
We kept a close watch over her and thankfully my friend had a thermometer handy! She was so pitiful and just about broke her new mama's heart...
I hated her being sick, and would have happily taken her place. I felt so helpless and out of control... We were so far from home.
Then she start throwing up...It was so pitiful. She seemed better getting some yuck out! She slept so sweet...just laying there watching her I knew that I would love her forever. She was my little girl, and I was her mama...

It never fails to amaze me how kids get well so easily and although she wasn't 100% better she did have waffles with us the next morning...I have never been happier to see someone eat waffles!

I Guess You Could Say It Was Labor~ Of Love!

As with any child entering a family...there is a little pain, a little stress, and a lot of joy! It is the labor that brings the love... The same is with our story~ our adoption story. Here is our first day as a new family...

We drove most of the night and got there around noon..went to have lunch and just relax for a bit. It was nice! I have such an amazing hubby!

So we went to the offices first and filled out the paperwork first....I was so nervous and excited!!! It seemed to take FOREVER, but in reality only about an hour and a half...

Then we were off to pick up the girls!!!!!!!

We went to the first foster-home where our middle had been living, and packed up her things, hugged her fost-mom, took a few pictures, and took her out to the car in my arms..
I cant tell you how much my heart swelled!

We then drove over to the other home...nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to walk into...it was heartbreaking & infuriating at the same time. We walk in the door and there are about 20 supportive friends & bio-family members in the tiny living room all crying and shouting in Spanish. My oldest is screaming, crying, completely flipping out and would not let me get near her~as she kicks her feet with fear written across her little face.

The social worker that had allowed them to invite all of these people had completely lost control of the situation. My (the adoption) social worker was mad! She kept apologizing telling us that this was not how should be...and how it just makes it harder on the girls. The two social workers start arguing! Hubby and I are looking at each other..not sure what to do! At one point a bio-family member so overwhelmed with emotion she collapses on the floor... Then some bio-members take the girls out the side door, I just looked at my worker  and said "Go!" ~I think she got the message...

Finally my worker takes over and started directing everyone..and we were soon on the road. I was shaking! Yes, I felt bad for the bio-family& foster-family, but it just seemed to be too much!
Our middle daughter (that had just quietly squeezed my hand till we were out of that house) had to go potty about 15 mins away so we stopped and that gave me the time to hold me oldest daughter so full of guilt and pain at making everyone so upset. It broke my heart. I wanted to cry for her, with her...but she needed me to be strong..to tell her that people cry and that is okay.. and most of all that she was going home.
   
I just held it in, held my little girl, and held it together till we got to a dear friend's house. We were staying with her for the night and she had dinner made, a nice room, and a truly sympathetic ear~ she is such a blessing! We fed the girls and held them till they fell asleep, then went into the living room to sit by the fire and talk to some dear friends that have held us in prayer for so much of our journey.

Hubby and I went to check on our little girls just lingered in the doorway watching them sleep. All of the pain, and stress of that day and many others seemed so worth it. We were parents watching our little ones safe & sleeping...we were in love!

That wasn't the end of the night, but more about that later...

Our Overnight Visit!

Soo we had our overnight visit this last weekend.. It went so well!!! We got in town around 3 AM and drove over to my good friend's house. Next to our bed we found a gift bag filled with tons of snacks, treats, drinks, toys, art stuff, and games for us on the visit!!! She is the best & she knows who she is... *Love ya!*

We left her house early that morning to go pick up the girls and it started RAINING!!!! So we had to think fast and thought: 

where we could get breakfast and let the kids play in the play area... It was a huge success!!! They had so much fun and we loved the more quiet environment and smaller play area.

Soon it was time to check in to our hotel, play some games, have lunch, read some books (yes, in asl as well), and let the two youngest girls have a nap!

We made our first really big "oops" as new parents when we started to lay the girls down realized that we forgot the milk!!! The baby always has a milk before bed and the foster-mom warned what ever we did make sure she has her milk!!! We found out why....also that she has a great pair of lungs!!! LOL! So off hubby went around the corner to buy milk! She quieted right down and drifted off to dream as I made a mental note to never again forget the milk!!!

The oldest, my beautiful N. and I looked at some family pictures as well as our wedding album while her sisters slept....then she colored pictures, and I read to her as she held her Hello Kitty.  I love spending that precious time with my big girl before she is off the school soon after coming home.

After a couple of hours it was time to wake up and we got  a call from the social worker that she needed to come observe us with the girls...it was then that I realized how small the hotel room really was!! I was so nervous! I don't think I will ever get used to being scrutinized.. The visit thankfully went well, and she had some good info and some really nice things to say about our not so little family...it was encouraging!

It was then time for dinner, and some more time just being together...playing, and watched a movie.

Bedtime~ 3 baths, 3 sets of PJs, 3 toothbrushes, 3 braids, 3 books, 3 kisses, 3 I love you, 3 hugs, and one little hand that had to hold mine till she fell asleep....

They slept so well through the night! I was so proud of my girls...

The next morning we went to church at the foster-mom's church... It was good for everyone there to say goodbye, and wonderful for us to see all of the people that loved my little girl, and prayed for us~her family all of those years! The whole church gathered around our new little family and prayed for us...it was amazing!

We got some lunch on our way home, and our middle daughter fell asleep in the car.. It was just the cutest thing!

After lunch was naptime and hubby went to get cupcakes from the store for my birthday! The girls loved the cupcakes!!! There is nothing in this world like a big smile covered in pink icing!

We cleaned up, got some dinner, and went to the park! My girls love the park!!!

We had such an amazing 2 days we didn't want it to be over....

It was then time to take them back...it was the hardest for my oldest who is only 5 and her whole little life is changing... She just cried on hubby shoulder, & just about broke my heart.

After she calmed down a little all we could do was talk to her and try to assure her of our love and that we wanted her...and that we would come back the next weekend. Choking back the tears holding my little girl...not wanting to let her go~ I somehow let go and made my way to the door. Sometimes I think I can still feel that lump in my throat...

Dropping off our middle daughter after her audy appt the next morning was just as hard as her little eyes filled with tears... She clung tightly to hubby, not wanting him to put her down. We know it is just for a little while...and we cling to God's Word which God promises us:
"Leave your orphans behind, I will protect them." Jeremiah 49:11 NAS


We just can't wait till next weekend! All of this will be over and new challenges will begin, but we will have wonderful memories from our visits. We are so blessed!

After the appt. we went and had lunch with a dear friend in the area since we didn't get to talk much the Friday night before.. It was wonderful catching up and showing off the pix of the girls. I am so blessed with not only a new family, but great friends to share it all with... 

My Christmas Prayer~

I am thinking of you, my darlings & I can only hope that your Christmas is wonderful...
To each of you, I want you to know~ I am praying for you especially at this time of year...


I pray that you are happy. I hope you are sitting around the tree with the people blessed enough to love & care for you till we can bring you home...I pray for them too.


I pray your Christmas is filled with music...songs of a Savior coming to earth that will guide your coming safely home to us. 


I pray that you have gifts to open, but more than that I pray The Greatest Gift Of All comes and holds you close if you are sad this Christmas.  


I pray that you see the twinkling lights, and smile.. I pray that one day you come to know the Light Of The World...I hope I am there to see it! 


I pray that like your stocking ~ you are filled with joy...God gave us you; getting ready for you to come home has already filled our home with joy! 


I pray you feel loved, and wish you knew how much I already love you. More than I, God loves you my darling. 
~He loves mommy too. He knows how much she wanted you home this Christmas. He dries her frustrated tears and comforts her whispering....next year, my daughter, next year. He gave us each of you and even if we have to wait, you are the best gift this Christmas. 


 I will see you soon~ I love you.
 Merry Christmas.


Love, 
Mommy

Merry Christmas

As many of you, our family has taken time to give thanks unto the Lord for all that He has given, and is now preparing to give back to others the great gifts we have received this year. We anxiously await the look of joy on the faces of those we love while passing out our little tokens of Christmas cheer. The time of year in which we write letters and cards to family and friends, and greet everyone we see with cheerful salutations. We prepare our homes with beautiful decorations, bake warm goodies, sit by a warm glowing fire, and say an extra prayer of peace to all the world. We sing songs that tell the stories of that first Christmas and how our Savior came to save the world. At times it seems the whole world is enveloped in a warm glow as we hold our families just a little bit 
tighter. 


This is also a hard time for many as they look back at all they have lost.. I look back at times with family that have long left this life. I think back to my childhood when I had all of my family with me as precious memories that remind me of how to treasure every moment. Christmas time was so special; my Mother would cook wonderful treats, and my Grandmother would always visit on Christmas day and it would seem that those days would never end… In my simple, childish mind I could never fathom that I might one day have my own family and would never again share those simple joys of having everyone together. Time moves us all forward and at times it moves us further away; it is the memories we take with us as we go … 


Beautiful memories are made every year. As we go about our little traditions that make the Holiday so special we are always adding new ones. Those little things that others will remember about you, and reflect on how much you loved them. Remembering what is important as we also give our gifts unto the Lord. Reading the True Christmas Story every Christmas Eve and sharing God’s love to all that darken our door. Singing in the kitchen till the Carols of Old fill your home with joy. Letting joy shine in our faces as it does in our hearts. 


I pray it is the same with you. Let the magic that seems to fill the air; fill your heart this Christmas. Remember those less fortunate, especially children… Love those around you as we celebrate the day love came in to the world. 


From our family to yours, 


~Merry Christmas~ 

Life In A Sand Storm.

I have been asked a lot lately about the emotional part of the adoption process, and the first thing I would tell you is that it  will change you.

It is like a good sand blasting of the soul...at times it is like living life in a sand storm.

It can be so painful, but it is smoothing off the rough edges and making you the parent your little one so desperately needs.It can cause you to loose your way; not knowing which way to go...so you learn to look to God.It makes the journey harder so you stretch yourself which makes you a stronger person.It will cause you to reach out out and up because simply can't find your way alone. 

It shows you just how small you really are, but in that how great He really is...

When we started this process...I am somewhat ashamed to admit, it was all about me (and still is, but just a little bit) and what I wanted;I wanted a baby, a family, and I wanted it NOW! The longer we have been through this journey~it is less about me and more what God wants FOR me, and what my little one(s) needs FROM me. In that I found so much happiness and joy. 

It is simple~ just another thing revealed through the sandstorm..

God loved me...so I love~Psalm 68:5-6a 

He came for me...so I go to them~John 14:18 

God defended me...I will defend them~Deuteronomy 10:18 

And most of all He commanded me...I obey Isaiah 1:17, & James 1:27. 

It is here in His Word that His peace sustains me...

With that peace, there is also love, and I have even more joy coming!! I have little ones coming! Now not to worry...I am not so naive as to believe that there will not be problems, stress, and even heartaches down the road but I follow this path knowing that I am not alone.. 
I know that the love and joy is worth the pain.
 I have a purpose in this life; that is the lesson learned in the sand storm.

~Our Adoption Reading List~

So we have been doing a lot of reading to get ready for our adoption... I thought I would share some of the books on our list. 

~Our Adoption Book List~

   Pre-Adoption

The Bible~ Our Guidebook Of Life!

The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want To know Before Adopting,  By: Laura Christainson

Successful Adoption: A Guide For Christian Families,  By: Natalie Gillispie

Your Guide To Adoption,  By: Focus On The Family

     

  Fostering/Mid-Adoption

Our Bible~ Training them up in the way they should go...

Handbook On Thriving As An Adoptive Family,  By: David & Renee Sanford

The Connected Child,  By: David Cross, Wendy Sunshine, & Karyn Purvis

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, By: Sherrie Eldridge 

Parenting the Hurt Child, By Regina Kupecky

Post-Adoption

Our Family Bible~ Devotions together as a family! 

After the Dream Comes True,  By: Michelle Gardner

Before You Were Mine, By: Susan TeBoss, & Carissa Woodwyk 

Talking To Young Children About Adoption,  By: by Ms. Mary Watkins and Dr. Susan Fisher M.D

 For Friends & Family

Wrapping Around Adoptive Families,  By: Focus On The Family

How Did I Get Here??

As I sit here it is 6:34 AM and I ponder over my ice water(don't do the coffee in the mornings, yet) how I came to love my morning quiet time? In those few still moments before the children arrive, hubby is up wanting breakfast, and the kitties are meowing at my feet that I find such peace...the kind of peace that lasts the entire day.

It is in that time that commune with my Savior, find my inspiration, and collect my thoughts & ideas for the brand new day. I reflect on my mistakes the day before and am reminded of His grace...how it is made new every morning. 

I remember that girl that would sleep to the last possible second, and would always be running late...if she had only known how wonderful these moments were and how wonderful her quiet time would be maybe she would have gotten here a little bit sooner.