I'm a special needs mom. There I said it...I don't really like saying because I don't really like the idea of labeling my children, but the truth is the truth just the same. This morning I really felt like that mom as I walked down the isle to the Deaf section, exhausted and stressed...my head pounding with every step. I slid into the pew with a silent sigh of exhaustion and relief. We had made it.
My Bubbly girl had three, yes, THREE meltdowns that morning! If it wasn't for my husband we wouldn't have ever made it at all as I was ready to just give up, turn around, and go home. Oh, did I mention we were OVER AN HOUR LATE??? Yeah, so part of the walking down in front of the the church..that was shame. I was the mom that couldn't get everyone ready, happy, and on time.
Toward the end of worship time my Baby-Girl had a seizure right there on the pew leaving her exhausted, and dizzy resting in her daddy's arms... At this point, I could have cried if I she didn't need me to stay calm and reassuring (at least on the outside) while holding her tiny hand. After resting for a bit she had to "go tinkle" thankfully she didn't go during the seizure because that really makes it worse! Little blessings!
So, I took her to go potty...taking Bubbles with us for a little break.
We walked back in to Pastor preaching, so we sat in the back of the church for a minute...waiting for some exciting choir of "Amen" or clapping in agreement while I mommy-terped sitting beside my Bubbly girl..before heading back to the front of the church. Then I saw it..a meltdown was coming...first the stimming, rocking, and then going to the floor. I sat down 'cris-crossed applesauce' on the floor of the church between the pews holding my little girl, protecting her head~ while trying to quiet and reassure my sweet girl. She fights and struggles...war ensuing in her sensory strained mind.
I continue to sit on the floor hold my little girl's head as tells me she is sorry..sorry for something that isn't her fault. Her eyes are glassy and still not focused..we wait it out. I gently brush her check with the back of my hand.
My weary mind slowly returns to the sermon... he is talking about Jesus sitting on a boat. Jesus sitting on a boat, as I'm sitting on the floor in the back of the church. I'm pretty sure He was sitting back there with us...
That same Jesus that calmed the seas also calms the storms in our lives...even the ones that put us on the floor...