Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Getting Divorced Hurts....

I am now learning just how much divorce hurts; it especially hurts the children!

 Yeah even when your children are adults; married adults...with children of their own. I found out today that my dad's divorce is final. I heard the pain and regret in his voice, and there was nothing I could do about it. 

I am heartbroken. I love my dad so much and I want him to be happy. I respect him as my dad and I always will... I have always been a daddy's girl. I have learned so much from my dad, and now it seems, I am learning again...a hard lesson~ I'm learning from his pain.

My parents were married for 27 years when my mom passed away.. I was taught that marriage was sacred; something to be protected. I learned "Better or for Worse" from watching them struggle. I learned "Sickness and in Health" from seeing the sweet loving care he took as her health failed. Lastly, I learned "Till Death Do We Part" as he sat by her bed as she took her last journey. I am so thankful, they taught me well.. They are lessons I hold so dear... They are the truths I treasure in my married life.. 

Then the day I never thought would come some many years later; daddy met the wonderful lady that would be my step mom. I was already married and about to become a mom! I guess I wanted a mom, too, someone to talk about the girls with...a friend. My dad was so happy...I was so was relieved with the comfort that he would no longer be alone in his old age. Once again we were reminded of how magical love is!!!

Marriage is Forever. 

Our family grew... 

My new mom and I grew so close.....

Fast-forward and my phone rings...it is over.
My world is shaken! All of my beliefs, my life lessons are gone. All of the things I learned as a child were fantasy and lies! This can honestly happen to anyone?!? Could this happen me? I want to scream, yet  ~I sit. silent, listen as my once shaken world now begins to crumble. 

 I am sitting on the floor of my daughter's room tears running down my face.. I felt like that little girl about to lose her mom, again. Who will I call when I need someone to pray for me the way only a mama can pray? I will miss her so much! 

 I remember all of our talks...I could talk to her about anything! She taught me to be a better mother. She always made me feel like I could do anything...and most of all she always encouraged, and never condemned. She was there...she was there for me.

So yeah, I guess I might be acting like a kid...more than that I have 3 kids! How do I explain this to my little girls?!? They love their Memaw so much!! Not to mention she pretty much prayed them here single handed! (I say in jest, so many people prayed for us through our adoption. :)  ) They will be so sad when he comes out to visit..alone. Oh, how she loves her grandbabies...they are going to miss her so much! 

How do I respect my dad and still teach my children to respect the sanctity of marriage?? I am so angry. How do I explain everything when I honestly don't even understand? I wish I had someone to ask..I wish I had my mom

I will be fine with time, but for now I am going to hold my daughter's bear, cry, and pray that my kids will never feel this way.... 

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