Friday, September 20, 2013

Lesson Plans & Lattes

I have really learned to enjoy my Friday afternoons with Homeschooling!! Have I mentioned that we just finished our first month of Homeschooling and we love it!!! Anyway, we have a few tests on Fridays, and some class work, but we are usually done a little earlier than the other days during the week. So I always plan to enjoy that time...with some quiet time to get refreshed and organized for the up and coming week!

I have a rather large window in my living room from which I have a great view of the garden(who are we kidding, it's dying),  swing set, and most importantly~ my children. I love watching them play!!! I cozy up with a nice drink~ today was Vanilla Chia Latte~ AMAZING!!! I just relax, and remember why I chose this path and how blessed I am...breathe.
After I am nice and relaxed it is time to work on my lesson plans...and sip my latte of course! 

I LOVE pretty much everything in my life is color-coded!  Yeah, even my lesson plan book!
So here is to another week... 
A happy, bright, and colorful one at that!!! 

Monday, September 16, 2013

My Bingo Moment!

So this weekend was a know the kind?? You know, where half of the time you are running around all crazy and the other half you are frustrated because you are getting NOTHING done!?!? Yep, that is how it was around here...

So Saturday it seemed to take us forever to leave the house.. Hubby need to go a few towns over to a certain store and we all decided to make a day of it. We literally stopped 3 times within 10 minutes... The kids were melting down, hubby was upset, and I was fighting tears!!! Then hubby decided he didn't really want to go...he decided to just one one town over in the other direction, smart man!

Well, on the way we stopped to get some food...and with just a few words, signs, and grumbles~ my dam broke! I had a full blown mommy meltdown! I'm signing, voicing, screaming, and crying all at the same time...I'm sure scaring other drivers if they happened to look over!!! As I am going on in my now mortifying tirade I am excruciatingly honest: "I can't make all of  you happy...I'm done! There is only one of me and I am exhausted! So you can just make  your own selves happy!!!"


Did you ever see the episode of Seinfeld where someone asks guest star Marlee Matlin "What are you, Deaf?!?" She replies "Bingo!"
Anyway...that how I think! In video clips and this mama had a true "Bingo Moment!"

*~You need to just get happy! Until you do, it will all be okay... ~*

Sometimes I feel that I was placed here to make everyone happy... I want everyone to be happy...happy and healthy! I heard a quote and it is so true "A mother is only as happy as her saddest child." I don't know who said it, but boy did they get it right! I am that mother~ well, I learning not to be...

I also want want my husband to be happy... I try to help him, take care of him, and in return he protects and provides for us. It is how our family works and most of the time works know most of the time. ;)
With that said, he is also capable to finding happiness in living a good spending time with his family. I am not responsible for his ever mood...I can just help to lift his moods. :)

I am here to carefully guide my children... Yes, I want them to be happy and healthy! I want many children to have a great many things in new goal is that I want them to learn to be happy! I believe this come in large part from being thankful and content; that is what I need to teach my littles...
I sat quietly in the car thinking for a good while after I have my great-emabarrassing-followed-by-BINGO moment...I don't have to make them happy~ I can teach them how to be happy!

The world isn't isn't kind. Sometimes life is hard...sad. People can be mean...hurtful!
 With all of that we can still find joy, and reason to be thankful, and with that happiness! I found happiness that same day...minutes later laughing with the family over some silliness. I learned it, now on to teach it to the rest of the family.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Sharing Our Memories Instead Of Our Fears

Today my seven year old daughter caught me crying at my computer...

I was watching a touching video honoring the lives lost on the day the towers fell...
I remembered.
I prayed.
I cried.

This time, however, I didn't fear...
I am stronger. My faith has been tested so much over the last two years and it has left me stronger. I am a little wiser, and a little older. I am slowly learning to let go of my fear..
I have to...I have to for the sake of my daughter.

I told her that I was sad. I then sat her down and told what happened on this day so long ago now, even though is seems so close to our hearts. I told her everything, very simple, and very direct, but I admonished her not to fear. I shared with her where I was when I heard the news. I trusted that she could handle it, and she did. I guess I am learning to trust her as well..

You see, I am a mother now... Yes, I do feel that it changes everything. It changes how I handle things; how I see the world. It makes me want a better world for my children. It effects how I vote, and how I respect those that protect and serve. It makes me want to be a better person, a better American, and a better friend. It makes me remember what is really important.

So on this day, we honor those that gave their lives to save others, mourn for those precious lives that were lost, and thank those that serve and protect our great country to protect us from fear and oppression.

Most of all...we remember.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Getting Divorced Hurts....

I am now learning just how much divorce hurts; it especially hurts the children!

 Yeah even when your children are adults; married adults...with children of their own. I found out today that my dad's divorce is final. I heard the pain and regret in his voice, and there was nothing I could do about it. 

I am heartbroken. I love my dad so much and I want him to be happy. I respect him as my dad and I always will... I have always been a daddy's girl. I have learned so much from my dad, and now it seems, I am learning again...a hard lesson~ I'm learning from his pain.

My parents were married for 27 years when my mom passed away.. I was taught that marriage was sacred; something to be protected. I learned "Better or for Worse" from watching them struggle. I learned "Sickness and in Health" from seeing the sweet loving care he took as her health failed. Lastly, I learned "Till Death Do We Part" as he sat by her bed as she took her last journey. I am so thankful, they taught me well.. They are lessons I hold so dear... They are the truths I treasure in my married life.. 

Then the day I never thought would come some many years later; daddy met the wonderful lady that would be my step mom. I was already married and about to become a mom! I guess I wanted a mom, too, someone to talk about the girls with...a friend. My dad was so happy...I was so was relieved with the comfort that he would no longer be alone in his old age. Once again we were reminded of how magical love is!!!

Marriage is Forever. 

Our family grew... 

My new mom and I grew so close.....

Fast-forward and my phone is over.
My world is shaken! All of my beliefs, my life lessons are gone. All of the things I learned as a child were fantasy and lies! This can honestly happen to anyone?!? Could this happen me? I want to scream, yet  ~I sit. silent, listen as my once shaken world now begins to crumble. 

 I am sitting on the floor of my daughter's room tears running down my face.. I felt like that little girl about to lose her mom, again. Who will I call when I need someone to pray for me the way only a mama can pray? I will miss her so much! 

 I remember all of our talks...I could talk to her about anything! She taught me to be a better mother. She always made me feel like I could do anything...and most of all she always encouraged, and never condemned. She was there...she was there for me.

So yeah, I guess I might be acting like a kid...more than that I have 3 kids! How do I explain this to my little girls?!? They love their Memaw so much!! Not to mention she pretty much prayed them here single handed! (I say in jest, so many people prayed for us through our adoption. :)  ) They will be so sad when he comes out to visit..alone. Oh, how she loves her grandbabies...they are going to miss her so much! 

How do I respect my dad and still teach my children to respect the sanctity of marriage?? I am so angry. How do I explain everything when I honestly don't even understand? I wish I had someone to ask..I wish I had my mom

I will be fine with time, but for now I am going to hold my daughter's bear, cry, and pray that my kids will never feel this way....