Thursday, December 8, 2016

Growing Pains

Growing pains are the worst...I was reminded of this at 2 AM last night as a sobbing little girl appeared beside my bed with that tear-filled pitch that breaks the heart "Mama?" I scooped her up into my bed and held her close.
As a grown-up I was experiencing my own growing pains...the ones in the heart. You know the ones that leave you alone in the a house full of people with a soaked pillow as you release silent screams to a God you can only hope hears you. This was where I was only hours before, growing and in pain. It is the pain that makes you grow as you are forced to endure it; helpless as it takes you under in waves of quiet sobs.

I rubbed her aching joints, applying Arnica Salve and Magnesium Cream till her sobs turned to whimpers then to the silent sounds of a sleeping child. I held her close so she could sleep; easing her joints when she would stir in her restless sleep till the morning sun flooded our bedroom and her pain was gone.
In those dark, quiet hours I wondered if it was the same with my Heavenly Father? Was He there? Did He comfort my soul even if I felt nothing in the silence of the night? Was His silence what was forcing me to grow? Was the Balm in Gilead applied even as the pain wrecked my weary soul leavng only exhaustion in the morning?

In the light of day, I am still hurting; my heart and mind somewhat numb from the ache. I smile at those around me as I curse the pain inside, while at the same time I am thankful for it. I wait for the pain to end so I can come out the other end little taller, stronger.

I embrace the pain as it is the only way to grow....even if it is the worst.

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