Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Lessons No One Taught My Mother

Even as I write this I am thinking the title should be changed...you see it isn't so much that she wasn't taught, but that she had her own way. She passed that along to me.

I loved my mama and she left way too soon. I wish more than anything she could have met my husband & my girls! She would have loved to have been a grandma!

My mom was a homemaker and she loved it! She in turn taught me the joys of raising children and the blessing of being a wife to a great man. She lived a fairly selfless life~to care for herself~ that was the lesson she never learned.
I am slowly learning this lesson.

I began learning soon after our girls came home. We had 3 social workers and all helped us on so many levels! There was on in particular that really helped me. She was an adoptive mom herself of 3 and she was very tell it like it is...she was the mama type when I really needed my mama.

Our worker was really big on self-care. She came that first day and I thought she was only there for the kids(and she was) but then she turned it around and said "now let's talk about you." She went on the "read my mail' so to speak. She told me that I was feeling guilty about everything, feeling the need to bond every sec.(even feeling guilty about showering and brushing my teeth), and that I HAD to take care of myself too!
She told me that I was important. I had never thought about that...me? Yeah, I guess so. Important.

She talked about how important is is for moms... She told me many times how that becoming a mom changed me, but not all of me. She reminded me that I was still a woman, wife, daughter, & friend. She said I was the kind of person that was great at taking care of others, now I needed to take care of my daughters' mom.

She also told me that I needed to lose weight! She just put it out there... I was shocked! She later rejoiced as she noticed tat I was losing...over the almost a year~ 36 pounds to be exact.

Now I am not saying I want to became selfish, and I don't buy into the "you come first on the list" but I do believe that I should be on the list, and not on the bottom. It is a work in progress....I do miss her asking me every week what I did for myself. I sometimes forgot till I am so stressed I could explode if I wasn't so tired. Like I said, I'm learning

So after a week of really bad eating I have started back working out.. I even got my girls doing with me...how is that for mommy time?!? I take the time out to make smoothies. I even go out with my girl friends. I come come refreshed and better able to care for those that I am blessed with... :)

 I want to share with my girls what I didn't learn from my mom. Oh there will be plenty that I will pass down from her...and then I will pass what I have learned along my journey. I want to be there to see them get married, and have children. I know some things are out of our control, but I want to do better with the things I can...that starts with self-care. That starts with me.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Secrets...the Whys of Mamahood

So I had this dirty little secret....one that I hid well. I guess I was ashamed. It was a visual reminder that my child wasn't exactly like other kids her age, even though is VERY close! Well, with one pic on facebook ~ my secret is out!
My two year old still takes a pa-pa in the car! 

There I said it. Ready, set, judge!

I know moms that as soon as that little one is one the pa's are bye-bye! There is like a sense of pride in your little one growing up!!! I have had plenty of moments like that...the car is just not one of them. 

You see I am going to share a little bit about my baby girl, like a lot of littles that come out of the system, she didn't have the best start in life. The things she was exposed to made the rapid firing in her little brain even more so...so when she is upset(really upset), she has to be helped to calm down. She doesn't have the "built in self-soothe button"  her brain is non-stop firing off be more upset!!!! It can go on for hours...it just doesn't stop!
Think of it as having a 2 year old with colic!! It is getting better...but sometimes it isn't easy. 

The other part that most of you will never see it..just like that cuing baby at church, you would never image screaming for hours! It is hardest for her when she is tired or unhappy which is mostly in the car...then we hear the screaming the entire time!!!! So our solution, especially when mama is driving?? Yep, the pa! 
So that brings me to the conversation with hubby... Why do we keep secrets like this? Are we in fear or judgement, or is it simply a matter of pride? 
That is when he gave me his secret, men don't do this... What?!? I never thought about it, but I guess they don't..
 He was like I don't think there is a man brave enough to come up and tell me that my kid this...or that!  ~Yeah, is a bit of a Protective Papa Bear too! 
A man wouldn't say that to another man because he knows what would happen! I kinda take it that it wouldn't be pretty!!!! 
 He went on to say that men just don't care...if it isn't their kid, they just don't care that much about the little things. 
See, ladies...it is just that we care too much! ;)

Friday, February 15, 2013

Magical Mommy Moments~~~

Mommies are cool!!! Well, when you are little, and I know that will most likely change in the years to come. Anyway for now, we dance, we sing, we slay bad dreams, and we can work magic with healthy food!
Today I made :
Princess Peanut Butter Poppy Flowers!
Monster Mashers!!!!!!!!!!!
Ants On A Log...
This is what all three looked like:
I wish I could see inside their imagination...

Another bit of magic?!? I made a whole bundle of celery disappear! 

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Baking A Little Love...Along The Journey

So tomorrow is Valentines Day!! One of my girls is off on break right now, but my middle daughter is off to school with some yummy cookies! She attends a preschool for DHOH so I thought some Heart & Hands and ASL~ I Love You cookies would be perfect!!!

So that gave us a fun activity for this afternoon...

So we pounded out the dough...

Then we rolled it out...

Then cut out our cookies...

So I just baked up some variety and put them on a plate... Homemade chocolate chip on the bottom! 

So there you go... a little love! I hope the kids love them!!!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Learning Along The Journey...

My oldest is off track from her year-round school. We are using this five weeks to do a little "home schooling"  to try to re-teach her some basic math skills. We are in the midst of figuring out what we are going to do for school next year.........right now I'm thinking it will NOT be learning at home!

It's hard to explain~ I taught early elementary for years.........worked in a learning center.........even taught  preschool; so why is it so hard to teach my own daughter?!?
I guess time will tell, but as of right now I think this mama needs a few lessons in patience.

Monday, February 4, 2013

"You Want Her To Do What!?!?"

Okay before we get started I can already hear the more "seasoned" moms shaking their heads and verbally patting my hand saying "It's only material..." and I get it, but that doesn't make it easy! I think part of it is that I would go around shrouded in black if I could...um okay and a little splash of hot pink! ;)

I get my 3 year old daughter's preschool homework calendar and tomorrow's homework: LET HER PICK OUT HER OWN CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!! Now if it were my oldest...no problem! This however is my middle girl~ you remember my cutie deaf one??? Let me tell ya, this girl SHINES!!! No, I mean the girl SHINES!!! She loves neon colors!!!! She loves stripes!!! She loves spots!!! She loves them all together!!!!!

I can only imagine what she is going to pick out?!? Bless her heart because you know I am going to take pictures!!! So, yeah,  I will let her pick & choose all the while a little thankful that I don't have to drop her off tomorrow! "HA!" @ hubby!! <3

Pictures to come... Have a great and colorful week, everyone!