I loved my mama and she left way too soon. I wish more than anything she could have met my husband & my girls! She would have loved to have been a grandma!
My mom was a homemaker and she loved it! She in turn taught me the joys of raising children and the blessing of being a wife to a great man. She lived a fairly selfless life~to care for herself~ that was the lesson she never learned.
I am slowly learning this lesson.
I began learning soon after our girls came home. We had 3 social workers and all helped us on so many levels! There was on in particular that really helped me. She was an adoptive mom herself of 3 and she was very tell it like it is...she was the mama type when I really needed my mama.
Our worker was really big on self-care. She came that first day and I thought she was only there for the kids(and she was) but then she turned it around and said "now let's talk about you." She went on the "read my mail' so to speak. She told me that I was feeling guilty about everything, feeling the need to bond every sec.(even feeling guilty about showering and brushing my teeth), and that I HAD to take care of myself too!
She told me that I was important. I had never thought about that...me? Yeah, I guess so. Important.
She talked about how important is is for moms... She told me many times how that becoming a mom changed me, but not all of me. She reminded me that I was still a woman, wife, daughter, & friend. She said I was the kind of person that was great at taking care of others, now I needed to take care of my daughters' mom.
She also told me that I needed to lose weight! She just put it out there... I was shocked! She later rejoiced as she noticed tat I was losing...over the almost a year~ 36 pounds to be exact.
Now I am not saying I want to became selfish, and I don't buy into the "you come first on the list" but I do believe that I should be on the list, and not on the bottom. It is a work in progress....I do miss her asking me every week what I did for myself. I sometimes forgot till I am so stressed I could explode if I wasn't so tired. Like I said, I'm learning
So after a week of really bad eating I have started back working out.. I even got my girls doing with me...how is that for mommy time?!? I take the time out to make smoothies. I even go out with my girl friends. I come come refreshed and better able to care for those that I am blessed with... :)
I want to share with my girls what I didn't learn from my mom. Oh there will be plenty that I will pass down from her...and then I will pass what I have learned along my journey. I want to be there to see them get married, and have children. I know some things are out of our control, but I want to do better with the things I can...that starts with self-care. That starts with me.