Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A Bump In The Road...A Tear In The Eye

Well, today is not the best of days...
All in all I have nothing to complain about and I must admit I feel a little guilty since I have so much to be thankful for, but right now it doesn't quite fill the hole in my heart. This is just a bump in the road on this journey...

As many would be fos-adopt parents will tell you there is what is known as the "two week curse" and tomorrow there will be our two week mark for the little girls we wanted so badly to join our family. We really thought this was going to be our match...their social worker called 3 times (this was the first time this has happened! See below.) to ask us questions, we had their TPR date, and even when we would have been able to bring them home which would have been before Christmas. I don't know which question I didn't answer correctly, or how wonderful the woman is that was chosen to be their mom~ I can only pray for them...and once again just let go. 

This is our 5th time going through this and each time it gets a little harder. 
The process: They show you a picture, give you a name, some history, a little special info, ask if you would like to be the child's parent, (if) you say yes, and then you go home and pray~think~pray~dream~pray~hope~pray~prepare~pray~sit by the phone~pray~stay positive~pray~count the days~pray and if two weeks go by and you don't hear anything back from the placing social worker then you just to assume that they went to someone else. You mentally have to let them go... Oh, you call your social worker and she calls the placing worker but they rarely call back, and if they do they just say that they were matched with another family. It is the curse of not truly knowing and not knowing why...

I am trying to keep it together and just go on with all of the Holiday stuff, although it is so hard to be merry with a bump in the road, a broken heart and shattered dreams.


  1. So that is where we are...good times come, and then the hard. The most important this that we keep moving.

  2. Just wanted to share something Pastor Tipton said last night at church. "We shout over the power of God, but too many times we resist the purpose of God. Both are great. We just don't understand purpose. But then, when purpose and power intersect....watch out !" also "The safety net for faith is trust." Nothing will take away the pain but you can trust the God that has everything in His hand and that His purpose is being fulfilled! Praying for you and your hubby!

    Angelina Hester

  3. Dear Eva,I just want to let you and your husband know that I will be praying for you guys.I'm so sorry that it feels and it looks bad right now but is only for a little bit.Trust in the Lord for He knows what is going on and He knows what is best.Do not give up now,you claim your babies in Jesus name and you just keep your faith going even when you are tired,even when you don't feel it because you are fixing to see what God does for you and your husband!God is able and He knows all about it. Love you sweetie and hang in there and look up,it is going to get better in Jesus name!!!!!!!
    I just felt that I needed to tell you this.Merry,Merry Christmas to you ALL!!!
    Chachi Shadle :0))

  4. I am so sorry to hear that! And here I'm complaining because my social worker's aggravating. : ( Now that's convicting.

    Have you asked them what the deal is? Why do they keep giving a hope and then nothing? Sometimes they don't think it's lives, not just a job.

    I was venting to my Mom today, and as I processed through it, I arrived at If it's God's will, there's nothing the social worker can do against it. These kids were dropped in our laps after they'd been "dangled" out in front of us before. We weren't looking for it, so for whatever reason, He wants it to happen. Same with you guys. There's a reason even though it seems so trite to say it. God's got something big out there for you guys and I've got you on my prayer list. **HUGS**