A Moment I Thought May Never Come, But Will Never Be Forgotten...

Well, the day that I thought may never come...did. My middle daughter is wonderful at signing not mention funny & bright. She is the sweetest little girl and she can express her feelings fully. In my heart however~ if I am truly honest as a mom I also long to hear her voice...well today I heard the sweetest word... 

My little girl put her little hand to her throat to feel the vibration and said "Mama!" 

At first I wasn't sure because she babbles so much so I asked(signed) "what?" She signed back MAMA!!! I felt a weird mix of amazement, & delight! I was just so happy & proud I praised her new achievement! She just beamed back at me! 

So all week she has been signing and saying Mama at the same time! She is so proud of herself! As for me well~ I think I just might burst! I have so many dreams, hopes, and fears when it come so raising my kids, but for this moment I am going to sick back at listen to my little girls say the sweetest word I have ever heard... 

She is simply amazing...just the way she is!  

Getting Social On The Journey..

 This last week we decided it was time for a new adventure~the deaf/hearing ice cream social. It was one of the places we frequented when we were in college; you know at different colleges & during different years! We still had it in common and shared lots of stories of our hearing student goes to deaf event days.
You know looking back we could never had imagined that we would ever had gotten married much less adopt a daughter that is deaf. God's plans are higher than our's and looking back we see how much was just put in place by His hands.

We want our middle daughter who is profoundly deaf to have a sense of pride in who she is, and make friends within the community. Well, for that to happen WE have to get into the community. So we started tonight and here are just a few things I noticed...

1. I am old, no wait scratch that~ they just invite really young & pretty ASL students to these things!

2. There were not a lot of deaf kids, and I think the reason for that is that people don't want to bring them in the fear that they will behave as badly as mine did...be them the sweet little angels and all. ;)

3. Running into an old friend is always wonderful, even better introducing him to hubby and sitting back watching them chat as my kids play around the table.

4. Whoever thought of having ice cream at these social must have had children!! It really made their night!

5. I miss being in the community...

We Learn Along The Journey...

So let me see if we have everything?? 

1. Hello Kitty Lunchbox~ Check!

2. Note From Mommy~ Check! 

3. Note In Said Lunchbox~ Check! 

4. A Tissue For Mommy~ Check!

5. Proud Family~ Check! 

We are ready for Kindergarten!!!! 

Our First Night As A Family & First Sickness...

So we had noticed our middle daughter had a little sniffle when we took her over to the second foster-family home so we called and found out what type of medicine he could have and picked some up on our way to the my friend's house.

The medicine seemed to help, but around 2 am I woke in a bit of a panic...she was burning up! I wasn't sure of the temp, but I knew it was high!  I woke James up and told him that we HAD to pray! My ever-calm hubby gently placed his hand over her head and prayed for our little girl as I sat there silently pleading that God would heal and protect her... She almost immediately started cooling down!
We kept a close watch over her and thankfully my friend had a thermometer handy! She was so pitiful and just about broke her new mama's heart...
I hated her being sick, and would have happily taken her place. I felt so helpless and out of control... We were so far from home.
Then she start throwing up...It was so pitiful. She seemed better getting some yuck out! She slept so sweet...just laying there watching her I knew that I would love her forever. She was my little girl, and I was her mama...

It never fails to amaze me how kids get well so easily and although she wasn't 100% better she did have waffles with us the next morning...I have never been happier to see someone eat waffles!

I Guess You Could Say It Was Labor~ Of Love!

As with any child entering a family...there is a little pain, a little stress, and a lot of joy! It is the labor that brings the love... The same is with our story~ our adoption story. Here is our first day as a new family...

We drove most of the night and got there around noon..went to have lunch and just relax for a bit. It was nice! I have such an amazing hubby!

So we went to the offices first and filled out the paperwork first....I was so nervous and excited!!! It seemed to take FOREVER, but in reality only about an hour and a half...

Then we were off to pick up the girls!!!!!!!

We went to the first foster-home where our middle had been living, and packed up her things, hugged her fost-mom, took a few pictures, and took her out to the car in my arms..
I cant tell you how much my heart swelled!

We then drove over to the other home...nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to walk into...it was heartbreaking & infuriating at the same time. We walk in the door and there are about 20 supportive friends & bio-family members in the tiny living room all crying and shouting in Spanish. My oldest is screaming, crying, completely flipping out and would not let me get near her~as she kicks her feet with fear written across her little face.

The social worker that had allowed them to invite all of these people had completely lost control of the situation. My (the adoption) social worker was mad! She kept apologizing telling us that this was not how should be...and how it just makes it harder on the girls. The two social workers start arguing! Hubby and I are looking at each other..not sure what to do! At one point a bio-family member so overwhelmed with emotion she collapses on the floor... Then some bio-members take the girls out the side door, I just looked at my worker  and said "Go!" ~I think she got the message...

Finally my worker takes over and started directing everyone..and we were soon on the road. I was shaking! Yes, I felt bad for the bio-family& foster-family, but it just seemed to be too much!
Our middle daughter (that had just quietly squeezed my hand till we were out of that house) had to go potty about 15 mins away so we stopped and that gave me the time to hold me oldest daughter so full of guilt and pain at making everyone so upset. It broke my heart. I wanted to cry for her, with her...but she needed me to be strong..to tell her that people cry and that is okay.. and most of all that she was going home.
   
I just held it in, held my little girl, and held it together till we got to a dear friend's house. We were staying with her for the night and she had dinner made, a nice room, and a truly sympathetic ear~ she is such a blessing! We fed the girls and held them till they fell asleep, then went into the living room to sit by the fire and talk to some dear friends that have held us in prayer for so much of our journey.

Hubby and I went to check on our little girls just lingered in the doorway watching them sleep. All of the pain, and stress of that day and many others seemed so worth it. We were parents watching our little ones safe & sleeping...we were in love!

That wasn't the end of the night, but more about that later...

Getting Ready To Bring Our Babies Home!!!!

The week leading up to the girls coming home I rushed around nesting like a mad woman!!! I cleaned everything~ rewashed all of the things that I just hung-up...crazy, I know!  I also pre-prepped all of my cloth diapers~even though we used 'sposies on the trip! This is the crazy part of nesting that we don't want to admit...it causes our husbands to run in terror...and our cats to hide in the garage! It looks like this:

Washing..Sorting...Insanity (Name of my next blog?? Maybe!) 

Okay, enough of that...told you it was bad! 

We picked out their little coming home outfits..

A few hair bows...

...and just a few things to keep them busy in the car for the TEN & A HALF HOUR DRIVE!!!

Like I said...just a little and they can have the rest when they get home. ;)

So we loaded up the car and made the drive one more time...this time for a good long while to pick up our girls and bring them HOME!!!!

So once again we were off!! Big smiles on our faces...dreams in our minds...love in our hearts! 

Our Overnight Visit!

Soo we had our overnight visit this last weekend.. It went so well!!! We got in town around 3 AM and drove over to my good friend's house. Next to our bed we found a gift bag filled with tons of snacks, treats, drinks, toys, art stuff, and games for us on the visit!!! She is the best & she knows who she is... *Love ya!*

We left her house early that morning to go pick up the girls and it started RAINING!!!! So we had to think fast and thought: 

where we could get breakfast and let the kids play in the play area... It was a huge success!!! They had so much fun and we loved the more quiet environment and smaller play area.

Soon it was time to check in to our hotel, play some games, have lunch, read some books (yes, in asl as well), and let the two youngest girls have a nap!

We made our first really big "oops" as new parents when we started to lay the girls down realized that we forgot the milk!!! The baby always has a milk before bed and the foster-mom warned what ever we did make sure she has her milk!!! We found out why....also that she has a great pair of lungs!!! LOL! So off hubby went around the corner to buy milk! She quieted right down and drifted off to dream as I made a mental note to never again forget the milk!!!

The oldest, my beautiful N. and I looked at some family pictures as well as our wedding album while her sisters slept....then she colored pictures, and I read to her as she held her Hello Kitty.  I love spending that precious time with my big girl before she is off the school soon after coming home.

After a couple of hours it was time to wake up and we got  a call from the social worker that she needed to come observe us with the girls...it was then that I realized how small the hotel room really was!! I was so nervous! I don't think I will ever get used to being scrutinized.. The visit thankfully went well, and she had some good info and some really nice things to say about our not so little family...it was encouraging!

It was then time for dinner, and some more time just being together...playing, and watched a movie.

Bedtime~ 3 baths, 3 sets of PJs, 3 toothbrushes, 3 braids, 3 books, 3 kisses, 3 I love you, 3 hugs, and one little hand that had to hold mine till she fell asleep....

They slept so well through the night! I was so proud of my girls...

The next morning we went to church at the foster-mom's church... It was good for everyone there to say goodbye, and wonderful for us to see all of the people that loved my little girl, and prayed for us~her family all of those years! The whole church gathered around our new little family and prayed for us...it was amazing!

We got some lunch on our way home, and our middle daughter fell asleep in the car.. It was just the cutest thing!

After lunch was naptime and hubby went to get cupcakes from the store for my birthday! The girls loved the cupcakes!!! There is nothing in this world like a big smile covered in pink icing!

We cleaned up, got some dinner, and went to the park! My girls love the park!!!

We had such an amazing 2 days we didn't want it to be over....

It was then time to take them back...it was the hardest for my oldest who is only 5 and her whole little life is changing... She just cried on hubby shoulder, & just about broke my heart.

After she calmed down a little all we could do was talk to her and try to assure her of our love and that we wanted her...and that we would come back the next weekend. Choking back the tears holding my little girl...not wanting to let her go~ I somehow let go and made my way to the door. Sometimes I think I can still feel that lump in my throat...

Dropping off our middle daughter after her audy appt the next morning was just as hard as her little eyes filled with tears... She clung tightly to hubby, not wanting him to put her down. We know it is just for a little while...and we cling to God's Word which God promises us:
"Leave your orphans behind, I will protect them." Jeremiah 49:11 NAS


We just can't wait till next weekend! All of this will be over and new challenges will begin, but we will have wonderful memories from our visits. We are so blessed!

After the appt. we went and had lunch with a dear friend in the area since we didn't get to talk much the Friday night before.. It was wonderful catching up and showing off the pix of the girls. I am so blessed with not only a new family, but great friends to share it all with...