We have 3 amazing little girls that we love sooo much! They are beautiful & talented & came with their own personalities and set of challenges. These many times show themselves as behaviors...oh my word do they!?!
When you chose to Foster-Adopt you chose to take it all...you take the past hurts - fears - anger- you live with the aftermath and sometimes it is hard to take. Really hard to take, but you take it~ because you can...it is a burden that those little shoulders shouldn't have to carry alone.
You also know that your life and home will never be the same.
You have to find special ways of doing things even face being judged by others...they just don't get it, but how can they??
I don't want to make them sound pitiful, but that simply I chose to take in all of the information and address certain things in a way I see fit just as their new mother. Just as any mother would... I want to help them to grow and heal.
I am so thankful that we have a great support system! We try to surround ourselves with those that have been there...and still going through it that we can get ideas from when we just don't know what to try next.
One of the ideas to come our way is the behavior jars.
The other side has their picture but they would also be able to tell from the lid color that they painted and the sticker selection!
The idea (which I think I also saw on a nanny show) is that you catch them being good and put in a ball.
On the show they could also lose one, but for children already dealing with a lot of loss that seems counter productive.
When all of the jars are full (thus older sibling encourage good behaviors in younger siblings) we have a family activity.
Also, to increase expectations we will later make the balls smaller and the jars larger, but the idea is to go slow.
I write about my kids because they are what I know...they are my life! I am sure they would work with just about any kid that loves bright colorful balls and fun!
I write about my kids because they are what I know...they are my life! I am sure they would work with just about any kid that loves bright colorful balls and fun!
I am not if this will work forever, but for now I'll just stuff a little hope in these jars along with the little paper balls.
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