Thursday, April 23, 2015

I Said the "F" Word to my Daughter...but never want to say again.

So you read the title...I said the 'F' word to my daughter. My face immediately turned a few shades of red...as my mind went back to hearing the same words growing up.
It may not be the "F" word you are thinking of it's the one where the 'F' come at the end...it's the word "IF."
It seemed growing up I heard this 'IF' word from everyone...family, friends, teachers, and even people at church. Mostly it was about my weight or how I looked, but there were others as well concerning my lack of social skills or education.
"You would be pretty IF.."
"You have a pretty face IF only you would...you might"
"IF you only tried harder...."
"You could...."IF" only you..."
I honestly grew to hate the word... I know it's meant to help ease the pain of the statement, but does it?
Let's compare: The blunt version:
    You need to lose weight so myself and others will find you more attractive.
The so called kind "IF" version:
     You are somewhat pretty in the face, but you are still lacking any real beauty of any value because you are so overweight.
As a grown woman I can't imagine saying either to a child....
Then again, I did...
I said it to my own beautiful daughter. It was concerning her behavior, and it was wrong. As soon as I said that dread "F" word I hugged her and re-formed my statement. I purposed to guard my words more carefully.
I can't change the past, but I will change the future. I never want my daughter, any of my daughters to feel that they are incomplete because they are enough. They are beautiful, funny, and smart...each one different and blessed with special gifts from  God.
There is no "IF" needed.

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